Evenings in Spiritual Conversation - Part 1

image taken from http://speechwriting-ghostwriting.typepad.com/speechwriting_ghostwritin/2014/01/conversations-troubles-talk-alienates-no-longer-bonds.html

Last Thursday, Maranatha Retreat House organised a session on 'Evenings in Spiritual Conversation' by Fr. Christopher Wee SJ which was really an introduction to Ignatian spirituality. 

I was torn as to whether to attend this event - hot off the heels of an extremely challenging day - but I made it and it was one of those serendipitous moments I cherish.

One of the key aspects of Ignatian spirituality is its focus on conversations - with God, with St. Ignatius, with self and with others. Informal, down to earth, as how we would speak to anyone.

As the picture above says, the conversation with God is the relationship - that we are no longer talking about God but engaging with Him, having a personal experience of God as a real presence. 

Likewise, the conversations with others are a journey of the heart - an opening up to each other in trust and there is no place for criticism and correction but a loving acceptance of what God is doing to us. We begin to fulfil the need and desire to make contact and for space and peace. How often do we hear the advice 'you guys need to talk' when faced with an issue or problem. So it goes. Communication at the heart of relationship building. 

Fr. Chris shared with us the story of St Ignatius' conversion and highlighted his cannonball experience i.e. something that breaks us and disturbs the flow of life. This is something I hope to explore more deeply in a subsequent post.

In reflecting on our life, it is important to reflect that we go deeper rather than further. This accords with what Fr Simon Yong SJ told a younger, more impetuous me when I asked him why did I have to go up and down the garden path to discover what God wants of me? Can't I just go from point A to point B direct? Wouldn't it be easier and more efficient? 
Fr Simon said the winding journey which seemed pointless at the time would lead me deeper in self-knowledge. I didn't understand him then, but I think I do now.  

I'm looking forward to the next instalment next month when we begin delving into the 3 main texts at the heart of Ignatian spirituality - A Pilgrim's Journey (St Ignatius' autobiography), The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius and the Constitutions of the Society of Jesus. 

Meanwhile, I have some scintillating conversations to go and initiate and people to catch up with.
*Edit - in my previous post I described SFX as organising this event - Fr Chris has kindly highlighted that it is actually Maranatha Retreat House which organised this and I have made the necessary amendments above. Apologies for the confusion.

Of Ignatiusising and Why I love Ignatian Spirituality so much - part i

picture taken from here

It was a friend from Singapore who remarked that I seem extremely fond of 'Ignatiusising' - which is another way of saying I flood his FB newsfeed with posts on Ignatian spirituality. This got me thinking about just what it is about Ignatian spirituality that I love so much that draws me to it and leaves me wanting more and wanting to share all about it.

Well, the first thing that drew me in was the fact that God is to be found in everything, even and especially my emotions and imagination. And besides that, even more significantly, in the parts my life and self that I consider messed up and broken, and that I'm ashamed of. I think there is something very reassuring about knowing that God is there, amidst the crevices and cracks and that He is waiting for me.

More so that nothing in me, or in my life has been a waste, even the most humiliating and painful occurrences, the type that I m still coming to terms with and understanding - are not a waste, as God is there too. Accepting my past has helped me accept my self too, and with it, the knowledge that together with my Creator, the present and future are still open to change and growth.

As I journeyed on, in my practice of the Examen (i try to do it at least once a day, at night before I sleep), I discovered the joy of imaginative contemplation prayer. And There has been No Looking Back hence :)

to be continued ...

Desolation / Entanglement / Finding my way back to God

Hello all faithful readers of my blog - it has been that long since I last updated! This in part to my finishing up the LLM over at NUS. Commencement is on 5th July, Deo Gratias as He had truly given me the grace to complete the journey, especially during the last few rough weeks.

Looking back in order for me to look ahead, I've chosen the image of a spiral staircase (this photo was taken at the National Museum of Singapore which I visited a week after my last exam paper) to illustrate my journey thus far.

The time in Singapore has been much more of desolation rather than consolation, and I have often felt painfully lonely rather than blissfully solitary, missing all the things and the life I knew before back home and experiencing difficulty fitting into the community here, Catholic or otherwise.
At other times, I just remember working working working as I was wont to do to forget the sorrow as well as being fuelled by a competitive Type A streak which I had thought was long dormant within me. I am not descending into a self-pitying rant here, only chronicling these struggles helps me understand why I made these mistakes and why I did what I did. The answer is always in the pain.

So one thing led to another, and I found myself in an emotional entanglement, placing divine hopes on a very human person. Disappointment ensued from sins of omission, sins of commission. I learned that the only way to forgiveness is to pray for the person(s) involved and I did so, allowing me to let go and even laugh a little at the absurdity of it all.
As the initial flame burst of wounded emotions and a sense of betrayal died down, I stared at the embers and realised that my soul-deep loneliness had led me there, causing me to see what was never there, and to try and create an enclave of happiness to shield myself from the gaping empty hole I felt inside me. But it couldn't work, because I was frantically doing this without listening to God's gentle warnings against it - whether in my heart deep down, or my family or friends.

The embers are fast becoming ashes now, and I am finding my way back to God. Where once I was a shivering soul trying to warm myself by the light of a candle (pretty impossible!), I will now seek the fire of His love to warm my heart, my soul, my mind. It's not disdaining human company, but learning to move from loneliness to solitude, from hostility to hospitality, from illusion to prayer (as Henri Nouwen put in his absolutely stirring and lovely book, 'Reaching Out'). He must come first and from Him, all goodness and wholeness flows.

Why then the spiral staircase? Because it's me ascending towards God, as I go higher up the staircase, I am looking down at my life, the same old issues and problems but it all gets so much clearer with this renewed understanding. :)

Introducing Ignatian Spirituality - Finding God in All Things

From where we left off earlier, Ignatian Spirituality is based on the idea that God is active and can be found in all things around and within us. Therefore, the challenge is for us to discern His presence and find Him in all things - as this is not always the easiest thing to do.

This is a video on Finding God in All Things - as narrated by Jesuit priests, students and teachers on their experiences in seeking God. It was first posted here(a site chockfull of resources on Ignatian Spirituality - i am inspired and educated by everything there!)



As you watch the video, it may be helpful to reflect on the following:-

1. When has it been easiest for you to find God? Why do you think it was easy for you to find Him then? What did you do then?
   
2. When was it most difficult for you to find God? What did you do when you were in this situation?
3. Do you think your life would be different if you actually managed to find God in all things?
   
4. What changes do you think you would need to make in your present life if you wanted to seek God in all things?

Happy watching!

Introducing Ignatian Spirituality

Logo of the Society of Jesus (SJ) - picture credits here

Introducing : Ignatian Spirituality

Ignatian Spirituality is the spirituality practised by members of the religious order of the Society of Jesus (SJ) i.e. the Jesuits. Even then, it is primarily a lay spirituality, extremely practical in nature and practised by many Catholic men and women worldwide.

It's practical because it was developed by a layperson - St. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits, was still a layperson, a soldier recovering from war wounds when he first discovered these amazing insights into spiritual life. If you want to know more about the great saint, do click here.

We begin our look at Ignatian spirituality with the realisation that God is to be found in all things. God is present and working in ALL places:-
be it in our selves, in our work, our relationships, society, culture, discoveries, everything about the world, the entirety of Creation. God is present and ready there!

This is, in St Ignatius' own words “so that we can know God more easily and make a return of love more readily.” God is in everything, even the seemingly mundane, so that we can find Him and return that love to Him.