The pieces that didn't quite fit

A long time ago, you were fragile, emerging from behind a shy glance,

you came out to meet the world,

which greeted you with nothing more than taunts and jeers,

you had no name, you began to believe you didn't deserve one.

bit by bit, you began to see that so many pieces didn't fit, 

they said so, they think im weird, they think i m a loser 

and you tore them off your being, flung them far, far away,

pretended it was ok

apart from the tears at night,

you thought it was loneliness, 

you always wanted to belong, 

but those were the tears of a betrayed self.

Years pass before you bring the broken pieces

of what remains of yourself,

and lay it before this compassionate presence,

whom you only dimly perceived before.

no more the judge, the policeman, the accountant,

keeping track of wrongdoing and mistake.

now watch, this Father has kept, precious, pure, 

those parts you had cast aside,

where have those jagged edges gone? 

smoothening the cracks and zig zag lines,

in His light, they take on a beauty that He has seen and known,

they remind you that you were loved. you are loved.

and gently, oh so gently, He shows you

where each piece belongs in and of you,

the past, the present, the form of the future.  

the Father never forgot the wholeness of who you were. 

*Written in honour of the feastday of St Ignatius of Loyola - 31 July 2012* 

Prayer - Loving from a distance

(the usual drill - credits for the pix here)

There will be times when others hurt us so badly that we're left reeling in shock,

flailing about and struggling to come to terms with what happened.

And the commandment to love seems nothing more than an impossible mockery,

something beyond our capabilities. We scream out for justice. Vengeance.

Or sit in a stunned silence, unable to respond, numb to everything.

It is in those times that I've found, prayer is loving such people from a distance.

In time, through this prayer, although the distance remains, we find forgiveness and peace.

We find that loving is not an impossible task, simply that we need to draw upon God to open our hearts

and His infinite source and supply of love. He supplies the grace, it is for us to yield to Him.

The painful feelings and memories. will be there, but they are never the end of the matter.

What is forgiveness then but another facet of love?

And forgiveness, I have found, is not just my matter,

but His, all in all.

Journeying together as a Christian community

(pic taken from here - COMMUNITY)

In so many ways, we belong to different communities throughout our lives - neighbourhood, school, work among others. But today let's turn our attention to the Christian community.

Ideally, the Christian community has at its foundation: the reverence and praise of God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This is shown in many different ways, from acts of service to the poor via the St Vincent de Paul and Blessed Frederic Ozanam societies to meditation or charismatic prayer together to singing in the church choir. There are so many different ways we can join up to serve, praise and worship Him.

Having said that, we each all have our own faith journeys: there are battles we need to fight alone and the darkness in our souls we need to confront by ourselves. There is an inner dimension to every human soul, but there is also an outer dimension which calls for belonging to a group to feed our need for social contact.

Therefore, we journey together as a Christian community via BEC groups or CGs (Cell/Care Groups). Yes, we can love and serve God together. Yet what do we make of it when everything is kept to a surface level and we know nothing beyond name and face? To journey together is to show another facet of God's love besides service, which is compassionate love and acceptance.

It begins with breaking out of our comfort zones to speak to others in our community and to get to know them better. You ask, isn't this being nosy? Well, if done as an act of outreach, i think that has no basis at all!
(On a personal note, I find it hard to talk to people sometimes, especially when I'm feeling introverted and vulnerable - but when I remember that there were kind souls who reached out, to me I'm inspired by His touch in my life and find it in me. We don't all need to be super extroverted, but a smile works wonders for a start.)
Inclusiveness is difficult - sometimes the blunt edge of rejection shows itself up in subtle ways, still, draw others in - as how Jesus drew Peter and the apostles in through His love and example.

The creation of a safe environment where listening to each other in a state of respect is also important. I know, you don't have to agree with what's being said, but give the others space to be who they are and what they say - it takes patience and a good dollop of charity, most of the time!

And above all, prayer and perseverance. No community is perfect, and at times, I struggle to accept my own weaknesses and those of others, particularly where I have been hurt, or where I have hurt others. It's easy to feel isolated and left out, but press on in a spirit of prayerful trust. The growth of a community is not dependent on everyone being the same, but each of us bringing to the table our different gifts and quirks.
In times when no one seems to care, and you're left all alone, or with only one person by your side, take heart in the words of Scripture:-

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."
Matt 18:20

Don't be daunted, for He is there - and with prayer, grace and effort on our parts, we can come to know and love our sisters and brothers more greatly and join them to pray with them and for them amidst the trials of daily life.

*Dedicated to Star of the Sea CG members especially and Lifeline SFX PJ- thank you all for showing me what it means to journey together as a Christian community, may we all continue to shine for Him!*

Book review : - What's So Amazing about Grace?

(Picture credits here)

We often hear that hymn, 'Amazing Grace' being sung at church - but have we ever asked ourselves just what's so amazing about grace? Philip Yancey has, and the end result of his question is the book aptly titled 'What's so Amazing about Grace?' '

For those who may not know him, Philip Yancey is a prolific author of many Christian (although not Catholic) books, ranging from 'Disappointment with God' to 'The Jesus I never knew' and 'Where is God when it hurts'?

The book begins with a description of 'Grace' as the Last Best Word. Grace is described as amazing, encapsulating the essence of the Gospel -a thing which can only be found in Church, even as the world can do so many good things but cannot offer grace. He contrasts it with 'ungrace', a concept elaborated further on. Nevertheless, Yancey offers the caution that he would rather convey than explain grace - and the rest of the book is spent doing just that.

In this regard, Yancey adopts a reverent and yet exuberant tone in his writing. - He is awe-inspired and yet brimming with excitement in sharing with the rest of the world what grace is.

The main text is divided into 4 parts:

1. How Sweet the Sound
2. Breaking the Cycle of Ungrace
3. The Scent of Scandal
4. Grace Notes for a Deaf World
   

In Part 1,Yancey uses Karen Blixen's tale of Babette's Feast to illustrate what grace is. Essentially, it is a gift that costs everything for the giver and nothing for the recipient. It is entirely free. Grace is in Yancey's words, 'Christianity's best gift to the world', far stronger than vengeance, racism or hate. However, it is in Church that grace is so rarely found, instead 'ungrace' abounds whether by way of strict legalism or a lack of unity. He then goes on to show how guilt exposes a hunger for grace and by extension, love. Yancey builds on this theme by sharing a modernised version of the Prodigal Son parable and ends with the proposition that grace defeats mathematical understanding - God already loves us as much as an infinite God can love.

Part 2 opens with a heart-rending family tale of hatred and anger with no happy ending in sight - caught in the cycle of ungrace. Yancey ends the tale with the observation that grace is unfair, and unreasonable following from the previous chapter. He then makes the point that forgiveness is the only remedy for ungrace. It is an unnatural act, but grace lies in the act of taking the initiative to forgive, defying the entirely natural law of retribution and fairness. He proceeds to argue a strong case why we should forgive - for Christ through His becoming human now understands and makes it possible for us to live free of guilt and be able to forgive in turn. Yancey takes this personal theme and extends it to nations across the canvas of history where forgiveness features - World War II, the fight for equal rights for blacks in the 60s and the late Pope John Paul II's attempted assassination.

The next Part talks about a place for people who don't fit in - what does Grace say about the deviants from the norm and sinners? It makes room for them, and helps us heal our vision to see and love them for who they are. Yancey cautions, however, that grace is not a 'get-out-of-jail' card which allows us to continue living in sin as a life built on love of God soon makes that impossible. Conversely, overly strict legalism pushes grace away - pride and competition renders God but a faraway concept.

Finally, the last few chapters cover how we can make grace a part of this world - Yancey begins with a story of a childhood hero who has now fallen, and takes refuge in a flawed morality instead of grace. Among others, he talks about how living a truly Christian life is akin to 'patches of green' in an inhospitable climate and how grace is in itself a turning to God for grace, who loves us despite our defects and sees our neighbours as sinners, equally loved by God. in short, a grace-full Christian is one who looks at the world through "grace-tinted lenses".

All in, reading this book was an emotional experience, with many of Yancey's stories striking a chord in me - in particular the tale of the family trapped in a cycle of ungrace. Although his attempts to make this a global issue is uneven at times, he has mostly succeeded in making the point that grace is the calling for every Christian, every man and woman in this world.
This is not a book about lists and things to do, it engages the heart and mind in considering the world, the people around us and ourselves, even God in a new and clearer light.

A highly recommended read - have your initial ideas challenged and move closer to Him, discarding that mathematics and logic of fairness per se!